Moving on?

I thought about shutting down this blog and creating a new one. It's hard to pick up from Grandpa's death and keep going. I don't want the part of my life that has Grandpa in it to be over. But he isn't here and this life keeps moving. As Meredith once said you can let life drag you along in the dirt or you can try to run with it (loose paraphrase).

Even if we as a family do come to a point where it's "normal" for Grandpa not to be here, our lives will always be broken by his absence. Makes me look forward to the second coming more. And I suppose that will be the case with every death of a fellow believer.

Good bye, Grandpa.

Grandpa

Thank you, Jesus, for blessing the world with this man for eighty-eight years. Grandpa followed Christ from Harperville, Mississippi through medical school at Tulane in New Orleans during World War II. During his medical internship in Memphis, Tennessee, he met and married my grandma, Rebecca Lisanby. Together they survived Birmingham, Alabama, San Francisco, California, Clarksdale, Mississippi, and finally made their home in Cleveland, Mississippi for almost 60 years.

Samuel Duff Austin was a faithful, loving husband to his "Becca" for 63 years; he loved and provided for four children, Cathy, Susan, Richmond, and Melinda. He delighted and adored his nine grandchildren, always saying something sweet to the girls, taking the boys fishing, and sharing a Hershey's Kiss or Snickers bar with all his chocolate-loving family. He welcomed his first great-grandchild to the world on August 20, 2008.

His patient hands and listening ears administered grace and medical care to his patients during his over-60 year practice. God gifted him with the skills and abilities to be an excellent diagnostician, and in his practice, he served as a vehicle of God's grace and care to many who were suffering physically, mentally, and emotionally.

He has pictured Christ to his family and friends. Always present, always loving, always providing, always compassionate, always giving. His absence leaves a great void in our lives. Christ alone gives us peace while we miss Grandpa, just as Christ has already healed and completed Grandpa in his own, glorious presence.

When I was a little girl and would visit Grandpa, he always held his hand over his heart and told me that his heart was missing something when I was gone from him. On November 3, 2008, that earthly heart that he would hold his hand over failed him and failed his body. But his Lord Jesus has made his heart more whole than it ever was on this earth, and one day he will live in a new body without disease, and his whole family with him. And we will praise the LORD as we ought in that day.

Thank you, Jesus, for blessing us through Grandpa's life. Thank you for redeeming him and for claiming his whole family for your own. Thank you for loving him better than any of us, who love him so much. Come quickly.

Done!

Well, folks, I turned in everything for my internship yesterday, which means I'm (almost) completely done with the seminary/internship phase of life. Lord willing, presbytery will approve my internship as complete on Tuesday. I should be getting my degree from RTS on Dec. 13 or so.

The job hunt is still going, and it's slow. I'll be sending out more applications over the next few weeks. You are more than welcome to pray.

Please pray for Roy and Emily too, since he is now the only intern working with and responsible for the youth at Redeemer until they hire a youth pastor. They have a new baby as well.

This Ain't My American Dream

The current economic "crisis," combined with the tone of the political season, has brought up once again the term, "the American Dream." 

The causes of the crises we are in this week run deep. The majority of America wants to blame these events on the Bush administration and Republican dominance, yet we must admit that the sources of the current economic situation began working years ago, at least during the Clinton administration, possibly earlier than that, as mortgage laws and lending limits were made "easier."

I do wonder how much of the fear in Washington and on Wall Street, which has become panic in much of America, is merely perceived. What is the worst that could happen if the government doesn't intervene at all? Will it send us into another great depression? I don't think so. We aren't having a famine. The bank system is not going to collapse. And I highly doubt that Wall Street is 700 billion dollars in debt. If America merely had confidence in the economy and in Wall Street's ability to come back, would there be a need for a 700 billion-dollar bill? What is odd is that the government talks like this debt on Wall Street is going to be valuable some day. If that is the case, then why don't more private companies like JPMorgan (which bought out Washington Mutual, with its debt) take over?

Those are all interesting questions. What I am intrigued by is what the American Dream has become. In the 1800s and early 1900s, the American Dream was the idea that in America, if you worked hard, you could acheive whatever you wanted. This was markedly different in Europe and Asia, where class systems and oppressive governments prevented the rise of a middle class. In America, even if you were hated, you could achieve a measure of personal security; you could even own your own home and land, provided you worked hard enough and made some sacrifices.

America still rewards hard work. However, the American Dream has changed. The American Dream is now, "I can have, and deserve, anything I want," regardless of the amount of work I put into it. If I want a four-million dollar house, like the ones I see on MTV Cribs, then by-golly, I should have one. If I want a loan for $50000 so that I can trick out my car, then I should be able to get it.

The principle that "I can get nice things if I work hard for them" has fallen by the wayside, and it lies in a shallow grave next to, "If you do not work, neither shall you eat." Our welfare system communicates, "You don't have to work; we'll give you food, housing, and money for luxuries." Our healthcare system, especially where we are heading, communicates, "I deserve the best health care the world has to offer, even if I can't afford the procedures." "Even if I am a lazy, unproductive, self-centered leech, I deserve to be taken care of by those who are hard-working and succeed."

This baffles me. And one political candidate communicates this even more, to the extent that "everyone deserves a college education." I'm sorry, but health care, education, and luxuries are privileges we have because of a history of hard work. 

If I don't value education and don't study, then why on earth do I deserve a college education, and why should it be given to me? If, on the other hand, I am a hard worker, and have studied hard in school, then I can get the scholarships and aid I need to get into most state universities, at the very minimum a community college.

The American Dream has become an expectation of excess. Even those who are wealthy because of hard work expect to be able to buy anything their hearts desire, to gross and grotesque limits.

To Quote Switchfoot:

When success is equated with excess,

The ambition for excess wrecks us.

As top of the mind becomes the bottom line, when success is equated with excess 

When success is equated with excess,

When we're fighting for the Beamer, the Lexus, 

As the heart and soul breath in the company goals, where success is equated with excess

This ain't my American dream

I want to live and die for bigger things 

I'm tired of fighting for just me 

This ain't my American dream

Dressing Up

A while back my brother and his roommate had a costume/housewarming party. (They're Eagle VS Shark fans). I had youth group that night, so I stopped by afterwards, and I had no costume. The next day I started pondering about costumes that I might like to wear at some point in the future, if for no other reason than wearing a costume.

Hilary and I have been getting into Dragonball Z. My friends and I watched Dragonball Z regularly when we were in high school. After a while it got old. When most of the episodes include the same fight sequences, lots of explosions, and repetitious sequences of gawking at the enemy saying, "He's so powerful," it's not hard to imagine why. Still, it is very entertaining. The characters are probably the best part of the show. Anyway, Hilary has been getting just as addicted as I have been. We've kept netflix

 movies for at least a month without watching them, because of the addictive nature of the series. Thanks, Roy!

One night before I got my hair cut Hilary found some of my old hair gel, the type that says, 

"Xtreme: will not budge even after swimming, getting hit on the head with a cast iron skillet, and then run over by a semi." I guess she was bored and not ready for bed yet, because it was near 10:00pm. The next thing I know is she is putting it in my hair, making it stand on end. Then she doubles over laughing, saying that I look like Vegeta. Of course, being the dork that I am, I start shouting, "KAKAROOOOOOT!" in front of the mirror.

So, at some point after my brother's costume party, I started toying with the idea of putting together a Vegeta costume just for kicks and giggles. I just need a blue spandex suit, some white gauntlets, some white boots, and perhaps a motocross breastplate. It would probably cost more than $100 to put the outfit together. 

At this point, you might be thinking, "Trey, could you be a bigger nerd?" The answer is yes: yes, most definitely.

Since it would cost so much, I decided to do a search for Vegeta costumes. This was all I found. Then I remembered the word "cosplay." I had seen it around the internet, often on sites selling, or related to, anime merchandise. So I googled it. 

Apparently, Cosplay (short for costume play) is very, very, very big in Japan and also very popular on the West Coast. There are whole conventions for cosplay. What would one do at such a convention? Wear their favorite or latest costume, of course! The two main genres of costume for cosplay are Anime and Video Games. 

Then I hit the motherload, cosplay.com. First, I did a search for vegeta costumes. They were alright. Then I started clicking on other dragonball z-related costumes, and boy were there a lot of them. Then I found their featured cosplay list—oh my! Some people just have too much time on their hands.

Here are some of my favorites that I found. They made me gawk in wonder.

First, Frieza (first form) from season 3 of Dragonball Z:

Second, one of my favorite video game heroes EVER, Samus Aran:

Agent 47 from Hitman, simple, but amazing:

Ninjya, from Metal Gear Solid:

Spike, Cowboy Bebop:

Princess Zelda, from Twilight Princess

Link, of course:

A Forest Spirit, from Princess Mononoke:

And this is just ridiculous (Gigas, FFXII):

Some thoughts:

What is it about our modern society that makes us want to dress up in fantastic costumes and be someone else? It seems to me that we find our own lives dull and boring. We crave adventure and excitement, and we find it by becoming someone else. Becoming, why aren't we happy with the shape our lives are? Why do we retreat to worlds full of adventure and romance? We all do it. It may be through books. It may be through movies or TV. It may be through video games. 

There is something inherently dissatisfying in our day-to-day lives. I believe it is because we are a compartmentalized, materialistic, closed-system culture. We try to remove all the pain of life, which gives us the illusion that we are immortal. We live and work in concrete jungles, which gives us the illusion that life is mechanical. We live far away from famine, war, catastrophe, etc., though we see it every day; while the problems of the world may make us feel uncomfortable and make us wish we could do something, but we don't know how, and honestly, we would rather not try.

Ultimately, the problem is due to sin. We forget that God has created us as the crown of his creation. We forget we are a part of his grand historical story. We forget the conflict and wars of years gone by and that are being waged this very day. We forget that God is orchestrating it all. We forge that he has ordained all things. Therefore, all things happen for a reason. Boredom and dissatisfaction are results of the fall.

There will be no boredom in heaven. There will be no dissatisfaction in heaven. We will be completely and perfectly content. Life in heaven will be exciting and interesting, because God will be in our midst. We will be able to see clearly his work in us and in history. We will realize fully we are a part of it. Now, whether there will be costume parties in heaven, that remains to be seen.