Mr. Rogers aside, I think I'm a very bad waiter. I guess most people tend to be impatient, but I'm just really having a hard time.
You tell me, should I be anxious when I am supposed to show up at work in another town one week from today and I still don't know where I'm moving or what I'm going to be able to take? Maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion. I can't really do anything about it right now anyway. I have my number one plan (that I'm waiting to hear on), and I have my back-up plan (expensive, but stable). I've done my footwork. I've been responsible. Anxiety begone!
Knowing the future is impossible and won't make a difference, so I should just get over it. so easy to say.... I'm quitting my coffee fast, this is ridiculous.
2.21.2006
not a bum's life
Though I suspect that I would perform well as a bum, I'm afraid that I've been conditioned otherwise.
I slept in again today, ate some breakfast, checked out the olympics -- but I got up too late; only the soap operas were on (but I didn't check them out... well, only for a minute to laugh at them), went for a little exercise, took a shower, made some calls, put on a little mascara, and went to the grocery.
Unfortunately, my grocery shopping was extremely efficient. I guess I finally lived here long enough to know which isles my food is on. The trip, complete with traveling time, took 1/2 hour. No good! I blow-dried my hair and put on mascara! Sheesh, that little effort deserves at least an hour of viewing. The public should have a chance to appreciate my well-groomed appearance, and 20 minutes just won't cut it.
I guess grooming doesn't really fall under the bum category. I thought all the unscheduled time would make me a temporary bum, but if I'm grooming... see? I'm just not cut out to be a bum. Or maybe I should be a sophisticated bum. Does that exist? I eventually get up and eventually look nice, but only so that I can watch ten year old re-runs of ER. I think I could make that a category.
Well, whatever I now am, I am trying to appreciate, because soon I will be a hard-working poor person with half of my income going to taxes and the other half to rent. I'll probably have to find a fifth job to even be able to make 30 minute grocery trips, and then I'll have no more than 20 minutes to make them.
I slept in again today, ate some breakfast, checked out the olympics -- but I got up too late; only the soap operas were on (but I didn't check them out... well, only for a minute to laugh at them), went for a little exercise, took a shower, made some calls, put on a little mascara, and went to the grocery.
Unfortunately, my grocery shopping was extremely efficient. I guess I finally lived here long enough to know which isles my food is on. The trip, complete with traveling time, took 1/2 hour. No good! I blow-dried my hair and put on mascara! Sheesh, that little effort deserves at least an hour of viewing. The public should have a chance to appreciate my well-groomed appearance, and 20 minutes just won't cut it.
I guess grooming doesn't really fall under the bum category. I thought all the unscheduled time would make me a temporary bum, but if I'm grooming... see? I'm just not cut out to be a bum. Or maybe I should be a sophisticated bum. Does that exist? I eventually get up and eventually look nice, but only so that I can watch ten year old re-runs of ER. I think I could make that a category.
Well, whatever I now am, I am trying to appreciate, because soon I will be a hard-working poor person with half of my income going to taxes and the other half to rent. I'll probably have to find a fifth job to even be able to make 30 minute grocery trips, and then I'll have no more than 20 minutes to make them.
2.19.2006
Limited reserves
I've been in Nashville 7 months. When considering moving here, I often reminded myself that Nashville, unlike practically all of Mississippi, has seasons. Real honest-to-goodness seasons. Spring, summer, fall, AND winter. I've never really had a winter except for the week one February when I went to Michigan. So, I counseled myself, Nashville has snow and extended cold weather; it might be your only chance in life to actually experience a real winter. A very convincing argument, if I do say so.
The winter of '05 - '06 has turned out to be one of the warmest winters the South (including Nashville, of course... the lines between North and South are growing fuzzier every day) has experienced. We've pretty much had highs in the 60s all winter except for a few cold snaps.
Did I mention I'm a very (very, very, very, ridiculously) cold-natured person?
This weekend was the big cold-snap, perhaps inspired by the winter olympics. We've had snow and ice and all that good stuff. The high yesterday was somewhere around 25, I believe. So, I've had my little taste of winter.
I was thinking about that fact as I sat comatose in my bed under two down blankets and three heavy quilts, struggling to stay warm enough to take my next breath. What I failed to consider when thinking a good, old-fashioned winter would be a good experience for me was that cold absolutely petrifies me. When my toes and fingers and nose and everything in between is cold, my only thought is to get under a blanket. I may or may not have the energy to prepare a hot drink. I don't even need a good book to curl up with. I find myself shivering under mounds of blankets in a stupor, thinking only about the fact that my toes are warmed to the point that I can feel them enough to realize they are freezing cold. All of my energy is entirely consumed with regaining some semblance of adequate warmth. The mere thought of pulling my cold fingers out from beneath the blanket to hold a book exhaustes me to the point of falling back into my thoughtless stupor.
I'm sure the answer is coffee, but it's started staining my teeth.
Either way, it must be a good thing that I'm moving back further south. I don't know if I could survive a real Nashville winter.
The winter of '05 - '06 has turned out to be one of the warmest winters the South (including Nashville, of course... the lines between North and South are growing fuzzier every day) has experienced. We've pretty much had highs in the 60s all winter except for a few cold snaps.
Did I mention I'm a very (very, very, very, ridiculously) cold-natured person?
This weekend was the big cold-snap, perhaps inspired by the winter olympics. We've had snow and ice and all that good stuff. The high yesterday was somewhere around 25, I believe. So, I've had my little taste of winter.
I was thinking about that fact as I sat comatose in my bed under two down blankets and three heavy quilts, struggling to stay warm enough to take my next breath. What I failed to consider when thinking a good, old-fashioned winter would be a good experience for me was that cold absolutely petrifies me. When my toes and fingers and nose and everything in between is cold, my only thought is to get under a blanket. I may or may not have the energy to prepare a hot drink. I don't even need a good book to curl up with. I find myself shivering under mounds of blankets in a stupor, thinking only about the fact that my toes are warmed to the point that I can feel them enough to realize they are freezing cold. All of my energy is entirely consumed with regaining some semblance of adequate warmth. The mere thought of pulling my cold fingers out from beneath the blanket to hold a book exhaustes me to the point of falling back into my thoughtless stupor.
I'm sure the answer is coffee, but it's started staining my teeth.
Either way, it must be a good thing that I'm moving back further south. I don't know if I could survive a real Nashville winter.
2.16.2006
Feelings are funny things. You can make a well-informed decision for all the right reasons with all the best counsel, but if you have "funny" feelings about it, you doubt yourself. Major life changes, such as (ahem) moving are particularly apt to evoke such feelings of insecurity.
The bad thing is that nothing guarantees the feelings will go away. No five step process of self-esteem boosting will make you feel settled.
The good thing is that I'm not all feelings. My (really, really, really, incredibly) intelligent brain can overrule my doubting feelings.
And chocolate can make you feel good about anything....
The bad thing is that nothing guarantees the feelings will go away. No five step process of self-esteem boosting will make you feel settled.
The good thing is that I'm not all feelings. My (really, really, really, incredibly) intelligent brain can overrule my doubting feelings.
And chocolate can make you feel good about anything....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)