this is not what i thought it was

am·biv·a·lence /æmˈbɪvələns/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[am-biv-uh-luhns] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	uncertainty or fluctuation, esp. when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.

2.	Psychology. the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.

So, I thought ambivalence meant not caring. Now I know that I am much more ambivalent than I once thought!