7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
This is one of those scripture passages I've heard my whole life and have intellectually acknowledged. Yet when I find myself facing a "good gift," I slip into a sort of denial. It doesn't feel real. This is something I think is good; this is what God gives to others, not to me. It can't really be meant for me; I must sabotage!
So now I have to give myself permission to accept good things from God. Funny, isn't it, that I would ask for bread, and when He gives it to me, say, "No, God. You were supposed to give me that rock. Take the bread away, and give me what I need."
Sounds like another dern double-bind.
It's amazing what arrogance I hide behind "self-denial."
3 comments:
that last sentence was profound.
i do that too - i think some of it comes from dealing with people that operate on a exchange system and wrongly applying that to God. Like, this is a great gift...but...what is it going to cost me? I'm distrustful of Him and His gifts and you're so right when pinpointing that as arrogance.
love you.
I should note that Daniel has tried to tell me that God gives me good things for quite a while.
And I think my arrogance is more in telling God what's good for me, namely misery. Because apparently I think I know better than He does what will make me into who He wants me to be.
Bah! I am officially a lunatic.
um... yay?
...
YAY!
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